Just Say Thank You

by Tuffy Red

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about

"Thank you" has been recommended to me as a way to respond to uncomfortable compliments for the sake of ending an unwanted conversation. I have learned from older generations that "thank you" can mean a whole range of things from heartfelt gratitude to a dignified "fuck you." A lot of songs I included in this album deal with the divide between what I think/feel and what I openly express. There is also somewhat of a theme of 'gifts' I have trouble accepting, or that bring about their own set of complications.

Just Say Thank You was completed December 2014. All songs were recorded in my bedroom in South Minneapolis on Garage Band with a laptop and a little mic. I recorded everything other than Could Be Worse in just a few days of each other. For some reason it felt important to just record everything at once. Why am I telling you this? Oh, maybe cause I'm proud that I made something so I want to tell you all about it!

Thank you for listening!

credits

released December 18, 2014

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Tuffy Red Minneapolis, Minnesota

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Track Name: You Make Me Forget...
you make me forget my own power
you make me forget my opinion matters
slipped my mind to even think
that i care if i disagree
now it doesn't even register
you're disrespecting me

wouldn't think to put yourself in my shoes
our footprints are such different sizes
you put yourself above so high
i can't even look you in the eye
here I'm a stranger with no ally

somewhere there are people who would back me up
but everything around me tells me to keep my mouth shut
Track Name: Love Letter To Minneapolis
when i am lost i find the most amazing places
this alley is quiet and welcoming
morning glories are open and sunflowers shine on me
i wish i could slide between the cracks in the concrete

this is the most beautiful garden i've seen
it looks like whoever lives here is living my dreams
i wish they would come out to meet me
i want to call out honey
honey I'm home don't you recognize me
sweet honey i've come thought you don't yet know me

but i know you will make me wait
and meanwhile i'll suffer but it will be okay
i'll try to be patient until we find ourselves face to face

honey i'm home don't you recognize me
oh you don't even know but you already do love me

for now at least i've shown up
its all i can do so i know that it's enough
Track Name: Don't Have To Care
if you really looked at me you would see
i'm over being pretty
and if you really listened you would know
that i'm not here to be your dream girl

though i have the capability
i'll surrender the opportunity
to be an object of idolatry
i prefer to save my energy
for those capable of reciprocity

its a cruel joke
these shit situations playing on repeat
but i've learned a lot
and i'm going to play it differently

so drop the pretenses
but don't drop your pants
i'm not a woman and i don't give a damn
if you think you're a man

you think you know who i am
but you never thought to ask
you love my silent attentiveness
and your imagination made up the rest
you love to see your own reflection in my eyes
you use me as an excuse to hear your own voice
when i try to be a part of the conversation
you bring the topic back to your own profound revelations

you're waving red flags left and right
you come on too strong and you hold on too tight
you admit you're a mess and can't take care of yourself
you know i'm caring and strong and you want me to help

but i don't have to care about your deep despair
there's enough to go around and for now I've had my share
i said i don't have to care about your deep despair
theres enough to go around and for now i've had my share

but you'll spin it like i led you on and then rejected you
you'll say that i don't like you but that's just untrue
i probably find you more beautiful than you do
my kindness and interest were genuine
so imagine my frustration
with this constant misinterpretation
cause i don't know how to stop your jumping to conclusions
should i pretend that i don't like you and don't want to be your friend?
should i avoid smiling or making eye contact ever again?
Track Name: Don't Bother Me
don't bother me
i don't like you already
don't look at me like that
i don't want what you want
can't you tell I'm too old for you
i'm at least 106
if years could be measured in disillusionment

my old friends, when we catch up
they always ask if i'm seeing someone
meanwhile, my old lovers
all get girlfriends one by one
can't you tell that i'm a nun
and i don't need to take no vow
cause celibacy seems like the only option for me right now
but if i happen to find myself getting screwed
that won't even be my biggest news
it will probably just be another mistake
so please don't congratulate me
it will probably just be another mistake
so please don't congratulate me

no one values me like they value sex
no one values me like the value that special someone
you've got your girlfriends, you've got your boyfriends
you've got your girlfriends, you've got your boyfriends
and i'm your friend no matter what
but…but…but
your exclusive ways make me sad
and i don't even have the right to say it makes me feel so bad
i'll keep my bitter thoughts to myself
go on and do what you want
i won't be a bother, so don't bother me
i'm working hard on recovering from this sexist sex crazed monogamous mentality
this sexist sex crazed monogamous mentality
Track Name: Special Perfect Friend
where's my special, perfect friend?
who's gonna be my perfect friend?
where's my special perfect friend?
who's gonna be my perfect friend?

well i know some people
and i have some friends
i thought they could ease my troubles
but they just created more of them
sometimes i want to leave everyone behind without saying a word
not thinking about what i'll find, only thinking about what i'll desert

but where's my special perfect friend?
who's gonna be my perfect friend?
where's my special perfect friend?
who's gonna be my perfect friend?
i'm my special perfect friend
i've gotta be my own best friend
i'm my special perfect friend
i've gotta be my own best friend
Track Name: Why?!
when you are nice to me it makes me want to cry
now i just feel guilty for wishing you would die
oh, you don't know how worked up i've been
thinking about what you've done
i tried to shut you out but love did overcome

why do you have to be multi dimensional?
why can't you just be pure evil?
why do you have to be multi dimensional?

oh i hate to love someone who causes me such harm
how can someone be so thoughtless and yet have so much charm?
Track Name: Could Be Worse
so you're not as oppressive as the other white guys
here's a gold star and a fucking high five
thank you father, thank you father
you never hit me
thank you lover, thank you lover
you never forced me

no, you're not as domineering as you could be
here's a big smile and a kiss on the cheek

you make five times as much money
but thanks for treating me
you take more than your share
but you voted liberal
good thing you're so enlightened and rational
so fair minded and reasonable

thanks for letting me have the abortion
when you impregnated me
thanks for letting me vote
though no one's representing me
thanks for letting me speak
though no one's really listening
thanks for the compliments delivered backhandedly
you say i'm not as inferior as the rest of my kind
here's a dollar and a piece of my mind
Track Name: Paced Breathing Test (in supine position)
my muscles go rigid underneath your touch
try to make my voice sound polite and calm
as if i don't totally hate this
like nothing is going on
staring at the ceiling, i focus on suppressing instinct
you speak in a tone i find insulting
can't be rude so i answer shortly
if you must, take my pleasantries
my words and tone are constructed
specifically for damage control
and you don't seem to notice or care
how uncomfortable you make me
oh you make me so uncomfortable
you make me
want to sink deep into this hospital bed
with a pillow over my head
so far down you can't reach me

oh doctor you're making me sick
i've got a case of the research subject blues
my value is my body
my body is science's tool
and you're a respectable professional
yet it seems your hands find an excuse
to be where they need not go
and meanwhile you condescend
explaining what i already know

with you it's so vulnerable, yet so clinical
so impersonal, yet so intimate
in the land of cold hard facts where emotions don't exist
i'll call it depoliticized and you can call it objective
there is no culture here and power is purely practical
your body's motions are only logistical
and the resemblance of sexual exploitation
surely is purely my imagination
Track Name: Brutal
i've been told
i'm too cold
i've been told
i'm too harsh
my honesty considered brutality
my silent discomfort considered mandatory
i guess i'm self righteous
maybe I'm just crazy
what's considered normal
seems deeply wrong to me
i can't help but think
everyone else is under reacting

you've got to fight for your right to be pissed
you've got to fight for your right to be an angry bitch
you've got to fight for your right to be sad
you've got to fight for your right to be ugly, mean, and mad
Track Name: Freeze
where you gonna go, who you gonna see
when you can't stand anyone or anything
and nothing is going to change cause you can't bear to try
your whole life is a secret you take pains to hide

keep one to trust, get rid of all the rest
no one who gets too close will pass the test
no where you spend too much time will stay untainted
your warrior face will not be left unpainted

i can't speak, you freeze me
i can't speak, you freeze me

i rearrange everything around your impossible needs
how is it you still make me feel like an enemy
everything that you touch reflects your pain
you make everyone around you feel out of place

i think of you and i wish i didn't have to
i care for you and i wish i didn't love you
i can't speak, you freeze me
i can't speak, you freeze me
Track Name: Tragedy Of Human Existance
worrying is the only thing you accomplish
its the only item on your to do list
who are you going to disappoint today?
however hard you try you'll make enemies along the way
make sure that you always have someone by your side
to insist everything you say and do is justified
play out your fears til they become your destiny
when your dreams are all nightmares you learn about causality
that's when you realize that dreams can come true
doubt yourself no more now you've seen what you can do
no one to trust, not even your best friends
anyone can get some scary idea lodged in their head
then everything you say gets twisted around
or maybe your convictions never were sound
maybe you're the perpetrator while you feel like the victim
confused survival skills, coping mechanisms
application of life lessons gets misplaced
now you're slapping your own allies in the face
your real adversaries are no where to be seen
having their way while their hands stay clean
petty disagreements squash every beautiful thing
that we ever dare to dream

perpetuation of oppression by the oppressed
just because its ironic doesn't mean it don't make sense
if you've seen it then you know it's nothing more, nothing less
than reality, its the tragedy of human existence
Track Name: My Community
pointing out what someone else did wrong
is my favorite way to write a song
i could say a lot of things to fuel my anger
and frustration with your behavior
but i'm not sure if that is wise right now
in this case maybe that is not what we need

there is so much pain in my community
there is so much fear in my community
our defenses can be such a scary thing
can we try to remember
we are not each other's enemies

i won't leave you out in the cold if i can help it
i won't leave any of you out if i can prevent it

you are not dispensable to me
you are not disposable